yeah, like the title, i do regret a lot of things such as : -i regret that i didn't eat sushi before i went back to terengganu -i regret not wishing good luck to my pal before went out from uitm -i regret i spend enough time to learn how to cook -i regret that i play a lot during high school -i regret that i worked and didn't get to see my girl cousin when she was born -i regret that i didn't improve much about my language -i regret for not keeping her by my side
like all this statement, i do regret a lot of things but there are certain things i don't regret at all because i believe that everything is decided by Allah S.W.T ;)
hi! sorry for not being able to post new entry..since I've kinda been busy studying and yeah, i kinda blog more in my 2nd blog since its more to Malay side..but hey, now I'm here, so enjoy..
so what I'm going to tell today is how much i miss a bunch of stuff: i miss my mum and dad i miss my bros i miss my bed i miss my home i miss my laptop i miss coffee bean & tea leaf i miss one utama i miss GSC i miss farhaana,farzaana and akmal i miss my ex girlfriends i miss talking my co-workers i miss those lovely days where i have actual fun and yeah i don't know if they miss me or not,but i miss them.. ;)
things has certainly spice up during 1st week of registration..but no worries, i can still handle things pretty well.. surprisingly, there's no stress like last semester..guess living outside of campus is redundantly comforting.. :)
btw, the title of this post shows it all..not everyone is capable of handling jobs@situations that can be stressful for their health..especially me..i now know that handling situation can be a pain in the ass..but i'm going to do my very best..this will be my trials for my future..wish and pray for me okay?
and fyi, i'm fine with my relationship with my gf.. any rumours, ignore it! ;)
hahaha..again, not the end of this blog..i still have a long way to go and much to write..so it begins with the holiday started..spend time in jb for 1 week and 3 days.. not really that exciting but its okay.. after that, went to singapore..mums need to vote, don't ask why.. ;)
then, went back to kl..bought new car, spend time with friends and gain some weight.. i'll let the pictures show u how much fun i had.. ;)
and special thanks to farzaana and farhaana for the fun..credits to daniel for the awesome pics..and thanks to arip for the catch up stories..good luck bro with ur gf.. ;)
today was the 1st time i woke up so early in the morning(6a.m) ever since the semester break started..so why am i awake at this hour? well,1st reason is to PRAY to ALLAH SWT ;) and the 2nd is to drive my car to shah alam so that my mum can buy groceries stuff at the morning market.. ;)
by the way, the one i want to express here is not the above..when i woke up this morning, i realize, life is actually worth more when morning started with a kick..i mean, u'll see a whole new level of satisfaction..its like the morning speaks to me..i slowly starting to accept the facts that maybe,maybe i was wrong..after all this year, after every little mistake i did, i thought i was already ready for the life i dream off..but sadly, no..i'm NOT ready..i'm just a dude that had forsaken the implementation and teachings that used to be in my dictionary..i'm really sorry for that, it was a mistake..
its like the path that I've choose has been led astray by me..how far did i go? way far..i know now what i must do, i must set it right back to the way it used to be..i don't know if i can pull it off, but if i don't try, i'll regret it for the rest of my life..this is not something that i can do without a single hand determination..
that determination is this : i will not give up, i will try my very best and i will succeed, insyaallah! ;) yesterday i was a fool, today i am a better man,but tomorrow i will be the best! ;)
True friend indeed,written by zaana@Z "The insecurities inside have eaten me alive. Never have I imagine that I would turn in to such person as I despised. But I did. My emotions took control of me. Neither right or wrong, was I able to differentiate. I was lost. Deeply lost in my uncontrollable mind. The only thing that could set it right at that time was, being with the one that used to be. The one that was not able to go back. Even though truth hurts sometimes. Or most of the time, it is better to hear the truth, so that actions can be taken, rather than not knowing and live in lies. No, that is not how I imagine to live my life. In my self-cautious mind, I was very much afraid of losing so many things. Things I thought that would ruin me forever. I realise now, the more I tried to keep it closer, the more possibilities for it to run away. So, I’m thanking my friend, who was there for me, to give me advice and tell me the whole truth and the things I should do in my situation. You could not have been more honest to me than that. And my friend, I would like to wish you, Happy 19th Birthday. Have an awesome day with your family as you deserve it. I will always be here for you, if you need anything that I can help with. And I’m glad you’d chosen me to be your friend because if not, I wouldn’t know the real meaning of friendship without you.
Thank you very much, Haikal."
i'm touched,i really am..these are the words,by far, the sweetest things people ever write to me..i'm not used to it, so forgive me Z if i cried ;)
before,i didn't know how much help i can be, I've never imagine that my words can be a help..i tried many ways before to help people but i always failed..but i never did gave up..every single day in my life, i tried to help people..especially the ones that i love..today,Z, u've given me hopes..the hopes that one day, i can be the one u called help..and thank you for that..i'll promise that i'll do my very best to help those who are in needs..insyaallah..
so to all,
I've just lost 2 of my best friends, one is my oldest friend and one is my ex scandal, over this holidays..and i don't want to lose anymore..i'm telling u right now, i'm ego and i really care about my loves one..one betrayal and things will not turn back to the way it used to be..i'm really serious, so i beg u, do not make me do things that u'll regret..
among all the things that i could do, there's one i just couldn't not do..that is watching a girl cry..call me soft but i just can't..every time i see a girl crying, inside of my heart just keep begging me to do something..in my life, i have watched and witnessed a lot of crying, a lot of pain..and most of them, i can't do a thing..so,in the end, its my heart who hurt the most..am i pitiful? am i weak?
i wonder, not expressing these feelings, is it pathetic? is it coincide with the society expectation? i mean, men are not allowed to express their feeling even when they we crushed, beaten and conquered by feelings? from my side of view, i can agree with that..men have their problems,but we can't cry out loud.. most of guys@men, we cry when we're alone..whenever we have problems regarding social, family, love, we gulp down all those misery and pain down inside our heart..if we don't share, means we have our reasons..we don't want to worry anyone..so why can't girl@women understand that?
everything I've done, its for a reason..so dun worry, even if its painful and hard, i'll survive..because i have me..past experience have teach me a lot of things..which is why i'm independent,so no worries..=)
p/s: even though i'm independent, doesn't mean i'm can't be hurt..i'm weak against emotions..so bite me! =)
yesterday was damn serious..its possible that i might have to stay outside from uitm campus next semester..its because next semester, uitm is giving its hostel priority to freshman..their reason?? they say its because the freshman deserve it..WTH?? that's bullshit! i mean, come on..almost 75% of the student follow the regulations and rule according to uitm and now they're kicking us? DAMN! but that's reality and since i'm getting kick out despite my good result, i guess i just have to find a rent house..pray for me i'll get my first car..=)
its been a few days now, my body just couldn't act like it normally does..i feel tired quickly and my body feels feverish..my eyes quickly rolled down every time i want to do something..i don't think i have a lot of stress lately..maybe its just because of i didn't get enough sleep..so i think i'm going to sleep now..nites people..=)
everytime i see a movie or tv series that shows a happy ever after ending, i feel sad..i'm an idealist,i rather think logically than just shoving up random thoughts..in real life, only 30% achieve pure happiness..when i think about it, happiness can comes from a lot of source..money, love, or maybe comedy..and i wonder, will i be able to achieve that? can i be one of the people who owns that happiness?
i'm currently studying in uitm dungun, terengganu,taking diploma in banking, no girlfriend, and depending on my dad's allowance..so, where does this lead? am i happy? i don't know! in life, searching for a cause is extremely difficult..and now, i'm already in a road..a road where i don't really know whether its suitable for me or not..so what can i do???
i need advice, i need help! so please, offer me one..appreciate it if u can! =)
real name is Haikal but call me Kal, 20 turning 21, still green and needs more experience in life, dreams of travelling, love Fara Dianah binti Abd Rahman with all my heart, treasure all my friends especially my best friends (you know who you are), hate people who back stab and acts like my friends. So,fakers can go die dropdead ;)
